The Shidduch- Jewish dating is where the a man and a women get to know each other to find out if they are suitable for each other.

They must feel comfortable in each others company. But lets not to get ahead, a shidduch is usually arranged by a shadchan. What is a shadchan? A shadchan is a Jewish matcmaker who suggest candidates for marriage and helps them through the dating process, but not every Shidduch leads to marriage and the whole process starts again in finding a their beshert. A shidduch is not always through shadchanim, it could be through a family member or a friends and even through a Rabbi, or they find each other.

 

When the shidduch is succesful, not long after there will be chassene where the couple will be sharing the simche with family and friends.

 

The chuppah * is a beautiful ceremony and in the link you can see how Raizel and Dani prepare as kallah ( bride) and  Chossen (groom).

While the chossen prepares himself its custom for the father and grandfather to give him brachos.

When the kallah and chosson go under the Chuppah they don't wear any jewelry or have money with them.

It is a holy occassion and during the ceremony  it not appropriate to hold conversions or anything else that would be a distraction.

The wedding reception starts when the kallah and chosson come out of the yichud room and join the quest and the ceremony begins with music, singing and dancing. The men with the chosson and the women with the kallah as men and women traditionally don't dance together, a mechitzah is placed between the dancing men and women.

A Jewish marriage is the link between the past generations and  future generations and therefore its a very special and holy occassion for the couple and their families.

After the dancing and singing there is the seuda, with all the familiy, friends, Rabbi and Rebbetzin to recite the hamotzi over the challah and Sheva Brachos, which are the same seven blessing recited under the Chuppah.

The seven Brachos are a divine blessings for the couple's married life and recited over a glass of wine.

After the meal, the Brachos, the wine ceremonies a beautiful day full of simcha is coming to and, but the foundation is laid with blessings and joy for a Jewish home.

 

 

Shadchanim

Shidduch

Chassene

* Chuppah

Yichud room

After marriage or when we move into a new home it is an exiting time especially when it is your first home.

 

Turning a home into a Jewish home is evidently Jewish by the presence of books and Seforim which brings holiness into our home like Torah, Siddur, Zohar, Tanya, Talmud and many more books to fill your bookcase.

 

The children's room(s) when they are old enough, can have their own little bookcase with the Chumash, Siddur, Tehillim, Haggadah and their own Tzedakah box. Personalize the books with their name, and to make the children extra proud, you can hang the certificate of the letter they received in the Children's Sefer Torah.

 

A home is at the heart of Judaism, it is where we connect with HaShem in our daily lives, when we daven, learn Torah and give Tzedakah before lighting the Shabbos candles, the seder with Pesach and the Sukkah, a dwelling place outside our home, celebrating eight days of the Chanukah and Shabbos Kodesh a day of rest, spiritual upliftment and to sanctify our home into a dwelling place for HaShem. Home is where we recite Tehillim, where we say most of the brachos.

 

Our house is so much more than just a comfortable and nicely decorated home, we dedicated our home to HaShem and mitzvos.

 

Chanukas Habayis the Jewish house warming ceremony is the seudah mitzvah which we enjoy with family and friends, but it is really about expressing our gratitude to HaShem for the blessings He gives us in our new home.

 

Now we turned our new house into a Jewish home, by affixing the Mezuzos unto the front doorpost and every doorpost in the house apart from the bathroom/restroom or affixing a mezuzah on a doorpost facing the bathroom.

 

It is fun to let the children choose their own mezuzah case and hang a sign of Tzivos HaShem on their door makes it extra special.

 

The Torah teaches us that a home is intended to serve as spiritual growth and performance of Mitzvos. There are Mitzvos that are dependant on your home, like the Mezuzah on your doorposts.

 

Seforim

Chumash

Tanya

Mitzvos

Brachos

Mezuzah

Chanukas Habayis

Tzivos HaShem 

Letter

             Wat is Kosher? 

 

 

Kosher means " Fit " in requirement to Jewish dietary laws, which means that when products are on the Kashrut list and certifified, the food is Fit to eat.

But there is more to it then only the food, this can be bought in certified Kosher shops, or with the Kashrut list in a local grocer  but in both cases always check, because today it is Kosher, tomorrow it might not be, as it is not be certified as Kosher anymore, often due to faulty preparation. To get your food as you can see is not a problem,  and meat can be bought at the Kosher butcher.

It not really dificult to maintain Kosher, two sets of everything, to keep dairy separated from meat, plastic bowls for parve, keeping everything separate in the kitchen and in de refrigerator as wel on the counters.

The dificulty lies more in the outside world, as not everybody is keeping Kosher and non Kosher restaurant are just off limits,  While you are somewhere in the middle of nowhere,  meaning somewhere in unfamiliar surroundings, just check the  products on the Kashrut list for food  which you can eat, or hot drinks in karton or plastic cups, with plastic spoons, solves the problem.

Sometimes when we are invited to dinner at someone else house, a non- Kosher household, and we decline politely the invitation, it is not that we don't appreciate  and not  being very sociable, but more to keep the commandments.

This only makes it just a bit less fun, but doesn't keep us from not Keeping Kosher.

There is so much more, just check out the link below.

Allison Josephs🔹️ Is Kosher food blessed by a Rabbi?

🔹️ A Kosher Conundrum

Love it ❣

The most important thing for a good marriage is that of a Jewish home that is built on the foundation of Torah and mitzvos. There is no better way for the Jewish people having wisdom and conviction after thousands years of experience since Matan Torah.

 

It is Torah that lights up our path and feeling the security in terms of love and well- being in materially and spirituality. 

 

Torah teaches us how to behave, love you fellow Jew, the essence of Torah, which focus on the soul rather than the body and that alone is the essence of a great marriage.

 

When you marry your partner, how do you expect him or her to treat you? What was the most important thing which is absolutely necessary to agree to marry him or her?

 

We all think that marrying out of love only is what we need to do make a marriage a succes. Nothing could be further from the truth. What if after some months or even after years and the love once felt gradually disapears? The foundation of your marriage is completely gone, that even marriage counseling wouldn't work as there is nothing left other than a written Get and a divorce which will follow. When love has left the marriage, what else binds the relationship? 

 

What our job is after we leave the Chuppah is to make you husband or wife feel loved, respected, understood, valued and needed. This can only be achieved by making you husband or wife number one in your life, not yourself.

 

From Jewish perspective we don't need emotional fulfillment, but rather make spirituality our priority, we then focus more on what really matters and give your partner your whole heart. It doesn't mean you have to agree on everything what your partner wants, it means that what your partner wants is more important than what you want.

 

Living accourding to Torah means we value spirituality over the physical. A great marriage values this in a relationship and when you make your partner number one, this is the same as " loving your fellow Jew."  The need and well- being of the other one should always becomes before yours.

 

In a marriage you should never devalue your husband or wife, a marriage is a relationship in which we should never abandon commitment. Not to get angry or argue or criticize your partner. The Talmud compares anger to idol -  worship and worship of self, not HaShem.

 

Don't deny what your partner wants or needs. In a marriage we have to behave respectfully towards each other, with kindness, make your husband or your wife feel that they are the most important person in your life.

       

When a home of a family with strong Jewish values, stable and healthy, the all of Jewish life whether in relationship to HaShem, our social life, and in education, it will be full of life, vibrant and filled with happiness.

When a home is emotionally weak, spirtually and morally, all else will soon mirror that weakness.

Our religious laws are a big part of family life and  also in Jewish Religious codes, these codes cover every aspect of family life, from our appearances to our most intimate relationships

🔹️Respect for the integrity, and feelings of All members of the family as humanbeings.

🔹️To develope and maintain a peaceful and harmonious relationship with All members of the family ( Shalom bayis ).

🔹️To maintain a spiritual purity and a healthy attitude in marital relationship between husband and wife.

🔹️There must be recognition and acceptance of different roles of each member of the family.

Happiness of family life begins with having respect, acceptance, understanding, patience, warmth and  education.

 

The central role of a Jewish home is a sactuary, where values children to grow, to florish, a place to feel safe and secure. Yiddishkeit is meant to be joy, pleasant and when we bring our children up.with these values, it will show.

 

The greatest gift we could give our children is a happy home. 

 

The Torah gives us advice how we can put this into reality.

"No man without a wife, neither a woman without a husband "

~ Bereshis Rabbah 8:9

 

After a succesful shidduch and beautiful chasunah, did we know what we were looking for in a husband or wife?

The Torah doesn't provide us with much guidance during a shidduch, and what we need to know, but lets see what guidancd the Talmud gives,

 

Married women has to observe a number of rituals and rules.

 

🔸️Observe the guidlines of tznius.  Fulfilling domestic responsibilities in creating a warm and welcoming Jewish home, preparing meals accourding to kashrus, keeping a kosher kitchen, and caring for the children, often together with the husband in giving them a Jewish upbringing.

🔸️Dress code is much the same as before marriage, tznius, apart from the head covering with a sheitel or a tichel, ( Satmar Chassidic women often wear a shpitzel, a pillbox hat on top of their sheitel or a headband.)

🔸️Family purity during the woman is  niddah, there must be a separation from the husband between twelve to fourteen days. The law is called, 'Tahara t' mishpocha' which is Hebrew for ' family purity '.Accourding to halacha, a woman becomes niddah when she is having her mentrual period, or after giving birth, when in both cases the womb is open. The Torah says, ' a niddah counts for seven days when a woman has her menstrual period, from the first day of her period, till the bleeding stopped and then add an extra seven days before visting the mikveh.

🔸️A birth of a baby boy a woman is seven days niddah from birth when she can visit de mikveh, and for a baby girl it is fourteen days, however, mostly the bleeding takes a little longer after giving birth and the woman  has to wait until it has completely stopped before purification.

🔸️The niddad period last somwhere between twelve or fourteen days, during this time marital relations are strictly forbidden. After fourteen days a woman can go to the mikveh.

A couple will  discover that this period of distance, makes the  relationship only stronger and it gives extra dimension and spirituality to the relationship, which will only deepen the love the couple have for each other.

🔸️The mikveh is one of the most wonderful places to go to. For woman who never been to the mikveh it just like one of those spa centers in hotels advertisements. Everything you need is their, from shampoo, showergels, bathfoam to luxurious bathropes and towels. After being exament for loose hairs, the mikveh lady will be there to make sure every ince of the woman is under water. Immersing in the mikveh is a intimate beautiful ritual for spiritual renewal.

The water of the mikveh is a closeness with the source of life, purity and holy.

 

Kashrus

Jewish upbringing 

Dressing  tznius

Head covering 

Family purity & the mikveh

Mikveh

Niddah

Being pregnant is a happy time but also a very precious time, whether it is a easy pregnancy or less easy, it should always be surrounded by postivity, as this has great influence on the wellbeing of the unborn baby. What can fathers do to enhance health and how his unborn baby developing, to get a better start in life, as children are so precious we want to get this right. Spiritual deveolpement of the unborn baby are also very important and this giving by the mother through Mitzvahs and good deeds, also the unborn baby could benefit from Kosher food, but most importantly is a happy home, surrounding by postivity and calm environment.

 

Pregnant women often sew a Sash during pregnancy, and when the baby is a boy the Sash can be used on the Torah for his Bar Mitzvah and also the aliyah on Shabbos before his own wedding.

 

During pregnancy I do believe studying the Torah is important as the unborn baby could benefit from it, doing good deeds, having a Tzedaka box and performing Mitzvahs has a positive influence, and attending Shul more often, towards the end of the pregnancy to visit the Mikveh, during pregnancy the parents to be, could recite the Tehillim, the father can take it upon him to recite Tehillim 20 before going to bed,it not what you must do, but it could be beneficial to the unborn baby and not in the least for yourself. 

 

Ashkenazi Jews traditionally name their children after relatives who past away, to keep the memory alive of our loved ones and the Hebrew name a baby boy receives after the Bris , before the bris a baby boy has to not yet received his soul and that is the reason he cannot be named till after the bris.

 

When a girl is to be named, is just like with a boy, the father names his daughter, this happens as soon as possible after birth, preferable on the first Shabbos and he is called up to the Torah, the naming ceremony is when the Torah is being read with a Minyan.

 

When the birth starts, we hang Shir Lamaalot in the room of the hospital or at home of the mother and the newborn, it is a safeguard for the mother during giving birth but also the fallowing days after the baby is born, for at least three days, this is to safeguard the mother when giving birth, which can been seen as dangerous, as still many things can go wrong and not to violate Shabbos laws, this can be found in Shulchan Aruch, Rambam and Shabbos 129a.

 

The father should not be in the room during the birth of his child.

 

Blessings after the birth of the baby by the father as he has to say thanks to HaShem, by reciting the blessing of HaTov VeHametiv for a boy. For a girl the father recites Shehecheyanu, this blessing can only been done by seeing the baby girl.

 

Another custom is to hang after the birth the prayer of Tehillim 121 in the room of the mother and baby

Every father has to fulfill HaShem's Covenant to circumcise his son on the eighth day, someone qualified repesentative to do this on his behalf. This ritual is known as the Brit, which means Covenant and the word for circumcision is Milah.

The Bris Milah means Covenant of circumcision and  this ritual must been done by a Mohel who is qualifiedto perform the circumcision and also is trained in techniques of surgical hygienes, from a religious point of view it is not justified having a surgeon perform the circumcision whil a Rabbi recites the blessing.

As said before the Bris has to take place on the eighth day , even when it is Shabbat or Yom Kippur, of course it depends on the day the child is born, lets say a child is born after nightfall on a tuesday then the Bris will the Bris will take place on the following wednesday, always during daytime and preferable in the morning.

When a child is sick or born prematurely, only then and from a medical point of view it will be dangerous, then the bris will be postponed till a later date, Shluchan Aruch orders caution and says the Brit should be delayed.

During the Bris the child will be officially named, the person holding the child during the circumcision is a Sandek, and it is a honor. At the bris a Minyan is in favor, this is including the father and the Mohel, this is to intensify the observance of this Mitzvah and it will bring more joy, but it is not necessary, there could circumstaces where a Minyan can't be presence, then the Bris will be performed by the Mohel only in presence of the father.

The Bris as a religious ceremony, will be a happy time and celebrated with a festive meal as a Seudah Mitzvah.

 

Just as the father gives his son a name, he also names his daughter. This usually happens the first Shabbos after the birth. When the father is away from home, the daughter should not be given a name until he returns.

The father gives his daughter a name when he called up to the Torah.

Giving a name as to be done with great care, the name has to be pronounced correctly as the name will appear in the Torah.

After the the baby girl is been named, a party follows for family and friends.