The most important thing for a good marriage is that of a Jewish home that is built on the foundation of Torah and mitzvos. There is no better way for the Jewish people having wisdom and conviction after thousands years of experience since Matan Torah.
It is Torah that lights up our path and feeling the security in terms of love and well- being in materially and spirituality.
Torah teaches us how to behave, love you fellow Jew, the essence of Torah, which focus on the soul rather than the body and that alone is the essence of a great marriage.
When you marry your partner, how do you expect him or her to treat you? What was the most important thing which is absolutely necessary to agree to marry him or her?
We all think that marrying out of love only is what we need to make a marriage a succes. Nothing could be further from the truth. What if after some months or even after years, and the love once felt gradually disapeared? The foundation of your marriage is completely gone,and even marriage counseling wouldn't work as there is nothing left other than a written Get and a divorce which will follow. When love has left the marriage, what else is there that binds the relationship?
What our job is after we leave the Chuppah, is to make you husband or wife feel loved, respected, understood, valued and needed. This can only be achieved by making you husband or wife number one in your life, not yourself.
From Jewish perspective we don't need emotional fulfillment, but rather make spirituality our priority, we then focus more on what really matters and give our partner our whole heart. It doesn't mean you have to agree on everything what your partner wants, it means that what your partner wants is more important than what you want.
Living accourding to Torah means we value spirituality over the physicallity. A great marriage values this in a relationship, and when you make your partner number one, it will be the same as " loving your fellow Jew." The need and well- being of the other one should always becomes before yours.
In a marriage you should never devalue your husband or wife, a marriage is a relationship in which we should never abandon commitment. Not to get angry or argue or criticize your partner. The Talmud compares anger to idol - worship and worship of self, not HaShem.
Don't deny what your partner wants or needs. In a marriage we have to behave respectfully towards each other, with kindness, make your husband or your wife feel that they are the most important person in your life.
💍 Chasunah
Before we finding our beshert, through shidduchim arranged by a Shadchan or a family member, friends and even maybe through your Rabbi. It is a process before we can finally take the first step to marriage, under the Chuppah which symbolizes the chosson's home and the kallah her new domain to built together a Jewish home. The Chuppah gives the new couple formally the status of marriage and with the legal side of the shidduch, together we call this " Chuppah V' Kiddushin. "